Title: On Givers and Takers

My Corrolary to Sawtelle’s Contract for Friendship:

Some people believe that the General Population is divided into “Givers” & “Takers.”

But I have noticed a strange Phenomenon:

Some of the people that I view as a “Giver” or a “Taker,”
are viewed by others
as the Exact Reverse of how I see those people.

I believe that the label “Giver” or “Taker”

is only a demonstration that the person attaching that label
is measuring the other person subjectively

in comparison to whether they perceive that the other person has kept “The Contract for Friendship.”

For Example, if someone gave a lot to me

but I saw what I gave them
as being larger than what that person gave to me,

then I might still call that person a “Taker”
since “I didn’t get paid enough,”
even if they gave me a lot.

And conversely, if that person was seen by me as a “Giver,”

that means I perceived that they gave me “more”
than what I perceive they received from me,
no matter how much I gave them.


Since the measuring is totally subjective,

perhaps whether a person is a “Giver” or a “Taker” varies from relationship to relationship

and also varies within relationships over time.

Perhaps it isn’t possible to honestly identify (& label)
whether a person is a “Giver” or “Taker” at all.

Robert Jorrie