Title: Is it Love or Pair Bonding?
Man seems to have evolved as a far-ranging Hunter/Gatherer.
Man is the only animal whose offspring require 13 to 15 years to reach adulthood and the ability to acquire food for themselves;
And, since the mother needs to remain “near the fireside” with the young in order to feed them
“Success of the Species” depends on food positively being brought back
to the family campfire, to the mother and the young.
Nature seems to have needed a device to cause the Hunter/Gatherer/Father to “do” that returning to the fireside,
so it seems to have made Man the only animal that has Sex for Pleasure,
and it seems also to have created “Pair Bonding” to permanently bind that Hunter/Gatherer/Father to a PARTICULAR female and a PARTICULAR set of offspring,
i.e., the female he bred with and offspring he fathered.
Definition:
“Pair Bonding” is that powerful feeling that people get that
“I can’t stand to be away from Him,”
and that many people confuse with Love.
They make such strong Pair Bonds that they think they “must marry” or “can’t live without them.”
How It Happens:
Pair Bonding naturally occurs when Sexual Climax is followed by cozy cuddling.
It does Not Occur when one has Sex without cuddling;
Example:
Men do not “Pair Bond” with prostitutes
since after sex, the people immediately get up and go their separate ways
and no cuddling occurs.
Example:
Cuddling alone will not cause Pair Bonding …
people who sleep in the same bed and cuddle,
do not Pair BondPair Bonding requires Both Acts:
Sexual Climax followed by Cuddling.
THE PROBLEM:
Many people misintrepret the “Pair Bonding” that naturally occurs when they cuddle with someone they have sex with,
as actually “Falling in Love.”
Then they marry them,
only to later find out
that they do not even like the person
they have pair bonded to,
married,
and perhaps, even had children with.
LESSON:
In these days of sometimes casual sex,
if you do not want to Pair Bond with someone you do not wish to develop those strong feelings with,
DO NOT SNUGGLE AND CUDDLE AFTER SEXUAL CLIMAX,
JUST GET UP OUT OF BED.
Desmond Morris’ The Naked Ape
Intrepretation by Robert Jorrie