Trading Aloneness for Togetherness
To get the Benefits of Living with Someone,
you have to give up some of the Benefits of Living Alone.
Robert Jorrie
Of course, everybody we meet has emotional “scars” …
for Life is a Difficult Path …
full of emotional collision with others that are just as frightened as we are …
just as unfullfilled …
just as “screwed up;
and that gives us all scars.
So everyone this age has big scars … its unavoidable.
Robert Jorrie
When you recognize that a Loved One is approaching Death,
perhaps it is better to say your mental “goodbyes” while they are alive,
and begin to adjust to getting along without them in your life, so that when they get closer to dying,
that you will be less emotional,
and thus better able to be a comfort and aid to them at that time
and more able to make good decisions, if you need to.
This has other Benefits, too
in that after you do this, you view each day of their remaining life as a “Bonus.”
Robert Jorrie
One of the nicest things about Greedy People
is that their Greed is Absolutely Predictable …
they are ALWAYS Greedy.
Robert Jorrie
My Corrolary to Sawtelle’s Contract for Friendship:
Some people believe that the General Population is divided into “Givers” & “Takers.”
But I have noticed a strange Phenomenon:
Some of the people that I view as a “Giver” or a “Taker,”
are viewed by others
as the Exact Reverse of how I see those people.
I believe that the label “Giver” or “Taker”
is only a demonstration that the person attaching that label
is measuring the other person subjectively
in comparison to whether they perceive that the other person has kept “The Contract for Friendship.”
For Example, if someone gave a lot to me
but I saw what I gave them
as being larger than what that person gave to me,then I might still call that person a “Taker”
since “I didn’t get paid enough,”
even if they gave me a lot.
And conversely, if that person was seen by me as a “Giver,”
that means I perceived that they gave me “more”
than what I perceive they received from me,
no matter how much I gave them.
Summary:
Since the measuring is totally subjective,
perhaps whether a person is a “Giver” or a “Taker” varies from relationship to relationship
and also varies within relationships over time.
Perhaps it isn’t possible to honestly identify (& label)
whether a person is a “Giver” or “Taker” at all.
Robert Jorrie
One of the problems with todays plethora of things to do for people in dating,
is that sometimes they relate to the entertainment itself
and then when later assessing whether or not they “had a good time on the date,”
they presume that because they had a good time relating to the entertainment,
that they actually enjoyed the person they were with.
For Example:
It is common to a movie,
and come home and think that you had a good time with the person you went with,
when what really happened was that you had a good time relating to the movie,
and perhaps your date also had a good time relating to the movie,
but you really did not relate to each other at all,
and so, if your are not careful, you might deceive yourself into thinking that you really “enjoyed” that person,
when instead of relating to them, you played “double solitaire.”
Robert Jorrie
A Rattlesnake can‘t help having poison fangs in his mouth …
He is what he is.
It’s just the way God made him.
And it is Unrealistic for you to expect all people to be Good People.
And it is just as Unrealistic for you to expect a rattlesnake to behave like anything other than a rattlesnake.
Some people are Bad and can Hurt you … just like rattlesnakes.
And many folks refuse to deal with Bad people …
they treat ’em like snakes and stay “far away” from them.
But sometimes there can be Great Benefit to us in dealing with Bad people …
they may have something we need …
just like we Benefit from rattlesnakes eating mice.
THE TRICK THAT YOU MUST KNOW IN DEALING WITH BAD PEOPLE IS:
First, you must identify that the person is “Bad”.
Then if you need to “go to bed” with him,
you should treat him like a rattlesnake:
JUST PUT YOUR HAND TIGHTLY AROUND HIS NECK BEHIND HIS HEAD;
HOLD HIM AT ARM’S LENGTH WHERE HE CAN’T “BITE” YOU
AND “GO TO BED” WITH HIM.
Robert Jorrie,
Dec. 31, 1971,
Edelstein Ranch
A “Caring Relationship” is where the participants make themselves available to care for and help solve the other person’s needs.
John Hamby
The Truth is Violated by Falsehood
but it is Outraged by Silence.
Author Unknown
When a person refuses to be Candid;
1. they are either guilefully reserving the ability to later change their mind; or
2. they are guilefully and presently, unwilling to tell the Truth.
Robert Jorrie